The never-ending education

Speaking with my best friend the other day, she remarked that when she read my blog about the birth, she was amazed at how much I knew. I told her that when you get pregnant, you naturally learn a lot about what's going on inside you, from being around midwives, executing paranoid google searches, and reading books given to you by well-meaning aunts.

Being in the presence of a growing baby pretty much 24 hours a day is a whole new education. This is immersion at its most intense. The most challenging thing about it so far is that it changes. You don't ever have it all figured out, because the baby is changing every day as he grows and develops. Just when I think I know his likes and dislikes, his sleeping patterns or his tendencies, he surprises me, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I had come to the realisation that he wasn't ever going to like sitting in his bouncinette while I got little chores done around the house (in pregnancy I had this image of a happy baby chortling away while I baked a cake or did the dishes), because every time I tried to put him in there, he cried. Then the other day he sat in there for a good twenty minutes (this is a lifetime in baby hours), watching me quite happily while I put together my muesli.

At least I can never get bored!

Last week I wrote a note for a blog post idea: 'getting things done in tiny windows of time'. I was going to talk about how I had become quite adept at preparing for and executing small tasks in Zephyr's sleeping hours, however, since writing that note I have also changed. I have realised that trying to do too much while he sleeps has a negative effect on both of us. It means that while he's awake, I have an agenda. I'm thinking about how I will carry out the task, make the phone call, whatever it is, as soon as I can get him to sleep. I am picturing the laundry being hung out, the dishes being done, or the blog post being written, and I am not concentrating on the baby.

He knows, and he reacts accordingly. There are long periods of crying and I am at a loss as to what he wants. And I'm missing out. He's changing so fast (motherhood cliche, but it's true) and if I let all these little moments go by planning for stupid chores, I won't see how he's developing. I won't notice his changes and I won't see his cues. I won't notice that his feeds are getting shorter or longer, or that he needs naps sooner or later than he did before. So I have decided to slow right down. It seems to be working for both of us, but some days I find it difficult. There is some neat freak side of me that has trouble letting go.

Anyway, picture update...

And I better go rest before those chubby cheeks wake up.