And it begins again...

Blog, I've got something to tell you. I'm knocked up, again. Baby numero dos is due at the beginning of December.

The idea was always to do this baby rearing stuff in one solid chunk, so the sleep-deprivation doesn't span over too many years and age the two of us beyond recognition. And it does seem like a good time. Zephyr has been doing pretty well at sleeping lately, and I think he's ready to have a playmate to poke and tease. Now he's taking a longer nap in the afternoons, I have this weird stuff called spare time. Best we fill that before I go relaxing.

The idea of having a second child brings me to think about how we have done with the first. He seems well adjusted, confident, happy and bright. But what would I do differently next time?

No google

Lucky second children, they get to benefit from the hit and miss experimentation of the firstborn's  babyhood. Generally, I feel more confident this time knowing how quickly (in hindsight) things progress. But when you're stuck in the middle of a month or two of being dragged out of bed three or four times a night, or you can't get that kid to sleep without rocking him for a hour, or he cries all afternoon and you can't figure out why, it doesn't feel like any progress is being made at all.

The tendency then is to google. There are countless forums where mothers in similar situations complain of similar problems. Advice is rampant, and it spews out of the computer from so many viewpoints, it's hard to know what you believe or agree with. But the key is this: EVERYTHING IS A STAGE.

It may be the most aggravating thing to hear when you are in that stage and the stage seems to be going on forever, but it's true. Your little waker will not always be a waker. You little food thrower will not always throw his food. Your little pincher will hopefully not always pinch. By all means, have a think about why he is doing this, and have a go at solving it, but most of all, relax. Don't google, or if you must, find a website you trust and stick with that one. Be patient. This too shall pass.

Those four words shall make up my rather irritating mantra with Baby Deux (who by the way, better know how to sleep).

Feed on

One mistake I made with Zephyr was to leap into solids before six months. I don't think it did any harm, but I don't think it did any good either. The books say breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months will help with immunity, plus it's so easy – why wouldn't ya? Well, with Zephyr I had a mistaken hunch it would help him sleep. I was ready to try anything, and wouldn't listen to the advice that said otherwise.

I also think I was a little bored. We had been trucking along for four and a half months and I wanted to see something new happen. Solids! It sounded like fun to make baby food. It wasn't. Breastfeeding is dead easy once it gets going.

Baby Deux is breast only until his or her half-birthday and not a day before!

Wear it

More of out necessity than any great desire to be an attachment parent superstar (although I do agree with attachment parenting philosophies), this baby is going to be worn.

Zephyr runs pretty fast already and he's only fifteen months. When he's 21 months and Baby Deux is born, I'm guessing he's going to be sprinting. Maybe he will be more reasonable then and not quite so obsessed with exits, but even so, I can see myself wearing this next baby in a sling or wrap pretty much constantly, so that it can sleep and be held while I chase my firstborn.

The question remains: when's my naptime going to be?

Sleeping together

If we do end up with another terrible sleeper, I'm not going to stress about letting he or she sleep with us. In fact, that may be the best arrangement from the start. The best way to get rest with a newborn is to let them feed while you doze. This one's staying in latch proximity at all hours, especially the evening.

The question of the birth

It is clear to me now that I was a little obsessed with having a natural birth when I was pregnant with Zephyr. While I want the same for this baby, I am going to try not to care so much. I know now the outcome is the same no matter what...although I could have done without the months spent getting over the trauma of the induction and resulting C-section...but anyway, the baby will come.

In short, I'm going to try for a normal birth, but I won't let it get to me if it doesn't happen.

Apparently Baby Deux is the size of a lemon this week