Reality

So these past few weeks have mostly been filled with niceness, good pregnancy hormones, yoga, meditation, healthy eating, all that good stuff. I guess it's only fair that now that we're at the end, a little bit of negativity has had the chance to sneak in.

I am now just four days overdue, but we're having some issues. I have low platelets, which are the thingys that cause your blood to clot. Mine have dropped from 174 in November, to 119 in January, to 104 last week...to 99 at yesterday's count. The normal range for platelets is 150-450, so I am pretty far below normal right now (this statement could also relate to the state of my emotional stability). I had an appointment at the Invercargill Hospital yesterday and the obstetrician there wanted to induce labour immediately based on the platelets and also a slight rise in blood pressure, which I am pretty sure happened the moment I walked into the hospital.

We were pretty shocked by the idea of inducing right there and then and asked if waiting until Monday would be okay. This was after he threw out a few choice words, like "risk to your health and baby's" and "chance of fetal distress", etc etc. He threw a minor tantrum, then agreed that Monday would be okay if I kept an eye on my health and watched out for headaches and visual disturbances that could mean that I was about to get pre-eclampsia (this risk due to the increase in blood pressure).

So, we're having a baby on Monday. In the meantime, we're trying everything in the books to get things going before then, but to be honest, it is starting to feel a bit exhausting. If it wasn't for the platelets issue, I would be happy to just let nature run its course and wait to the baby and my body to be ready for this birth, but the professionals say there is risk, and I should trust them.

I have two days to:

A.) Induce labour naturally/ relax and hope it happens

and

B.) Get myself into a mind-state where the idea of induction doesn't freak me out quite so much. Everyone keeps saying once the birth is over, it's just a tiny window of time in the far-reaching spectrum of parenthood, but right now I am finding it difficult to see past that window, to the place where the baby lies in my arms.

I am trying though.

So, I'm going to be a mother in two days! That is amazing, right? Right? Okay.

Next post, expect possible gory birth story and probably a lot of soppy baby lovey stuff. Goo goo gaga.